Mental Reasoning

Peter is the reason all faith in humanity has been lost, Peter is the reason why you don't trust your peers, Peter is the reason for suicide and murder, Peter is the reason for grief and misery. "It's all my damn fault," he wrote in his notebook. "I did all this, it was me, I knew it all along and continued blissfully," he sighed a sigh of unwanted peace, spilling the words out onto paper helped him release and relieve, at this point he could not sleep, he merely smoked and smoked and smoked until breathing became a task instead of second nature. He was already unsure of his life, and she had just assured his unassurance. He already didn't give a shit about his life, his well being, and now, she assured him that he can give half of a shit less. But he appreciates her, he loves her, and thanks her, he knows now what to do. "Women are sent to earth to destroy men like me, if I can even call myself a man, they are sent to cause pain and destruction to lost lonely hearts like mine. I had given up on love, and she made me believe in it again, she made me feel it for a brief second, only for it to fade away again. But that is not the point, it's alive, and I know now that I cannot truly find love in another person, but instead I can find it in music, I always have, but I didn't truly realize it until now. I'm going to be loved by all one day, and no one will be worthy of MY love, they will all want it, but no one can have it, because like any great power, and great responsibility, if it is put in the wrong hands, it can be used for evil doings, and destroy everything." Peter felt comfortable, he felt at ease, he stopped caring once again, "it sucks to care," he remembered why he had stopped. "There is no greater love than that of the beautiful stars, the all powerful moon, radiating it's beauty upon the dark side of the planet. There is no one answer to life, simply more questions, more doubts, more disappointments. From this day on, I promise to better myself, but not for YOU, for myself, because I don't need anybody to motivate me, I don't need a woman to make me feel special, I make women feel special," Peter was simply talking shit, talking to himself, he was ranting, but he truly felt all these words from the bottom of his heart and soul, "nothing is the same anymore, nor was it ever, it's just the mentality, the perspective you see it in," he started to lose his mind again, he could feel it drifting away, leaving an empty space in his heart, his brain felt hollow, all that was left were the basic functions of life, how to get by. "I don't really mind it anymore, seriously," he lit another cigarette, just for the hell of it, he wasn't going to be able to sleep tonight anyways..