Sunday, December 14, 2014

Rambling on

A million thoughts ran through Peters head. Some of them at the same time
"Why am I such a pushover? Why can't I ever turn anybody down? Why do I always have to meet everyone's expectations? Why do I have to be so sympathetic? I see a keyword there.. PATHETIC. that's all I'll ever be, that's all I ever can be. Why does life throw these curveballs at me? Why am I always stuck with these decisions? And why do I always make it harder for myself? Why do I even try to better my life? It always goes to shit in the end. Why do I have to wake up so damn early tomorrow? Why do I even have to wake up at all? Is God even real? And if he is, is this how he wants to use me? Am I supposed to do this? Or should I just turn away? walk as far as I can and never look back.. Why do I have so many questions, and nobody to answe themr? Why does my life seem so miserable, but everybody around me has a splendid one? Why can't I ever just grow a pair of nuts and move on? Why do I always put everybody before me, and make myself last? Why??? Can't somebody just show me the way? I'm obsessed about my own pleasure, that I'll do anything to just get a second of momentary happiness. Why am I such an idiot, nobody can see it but me. So does that mean I'm NOT an idiot... Should I talk to somebody who knows? Or should I just wallow, and drown in my own sorrow? Life is about change, but to me, it seems exactly the same as it was 3 years ago.. The story keeps repeating and I just stand there and keep reading it..."

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